4 stars


I received a copy of this book through Goodreads in exchange for an honest review.Overall, I liked the book. It is composed of essays from Mary Collins and Donald Collins and interviews with other people who are trans and families of people who are trans.The book details what Mary and Donald both went through in various stages of Donald’s transition (Donald coming out as trans, starting hormones, perusing various surgeries). They discuss how their relationship changed and places they did and did not find support. The interviews were also interesting. They follow mostly white males, but also include perspectives from some people who identify as nonbinary.The drawback for me with this book was I wanted to hear more from Donald’s perspective. Looking back now, I see they have the same number of essays and roughly the same number of pages so maybe it wasn’t the amount of material but rather the strength of the voice that put me off. Mary’s sections were very domineering and reading them felt like the majority of the book. Perhaps it was because I didn’t really like or agree with her perspective. She spends a lot of time talking about the people who did her wrong and less about her transgender son. I feel horrible saying that, because she complains about people telling her she was wrong and not supporting her, but I can’t help but lean more in their favor. It was very brave of her to write this book, but it is very clear that she is still not 100% behind her son’s decisions. A good book, especially for parents and families of people who are trans and looking for some perspective.The book contains word banks with pertinent words such as “gender identity”, “top surgery”, “gender confirming”. There is also a reading list including in the book with recommended works of fiction and non-fiction pertaining to gender and trans issues.