1 star

I got this as a free e-book and, given that I am intrigued by zombies, I thought I’d give it a try. However, this book was really not a good fit for me.

So instead of writing a rambling review, I am just going to list (some of) the reasons I did not like this book.

– This book reads like two middle schoolers wrote it. My friends and I used to write (horrible) Harry Potter fan fiction together where we’d take turn writing scenes where we incorporated ourselves into the stories. This reads like that, but ten times worse, because the narrators are meant to be adults yet act and think like two high children.

– The writing is very poor and repetitive. I’m just going to leave this quote here and let you make of it what you will: “I saw him look up with a look that looked like he had made up his mind.”

– Lots of sexist language. Fat-shaming, slut-shaming, you name it, it’s here. Also, there’s this annoying bias that no one who does not fit the main characters’ standards of attractiveness should have sex or be sexual. Women are treated as sex object and though the characters recognize this, they do nothing to change their thinking.

-Annoying logic that “hot girls” are mean and rude because they never show interest in the main character.

– Lots of rambling. The narrator is often aware that he is rambling, but still continues to ramble. The only thing worse than a narrator that rambles is a narrator who knows he rambles and doesn’t do anything about it.

– Weird (sexualized) violence and torture scenes that didn’t really serve a purpose and seemed unnecessary.
– Creepy rape-y scenes (like the relationship between Blue and Candy)

– Racist rambles that try to convince the reader that they aren’t racist, because the characters who say them like hot girls of all races.
– Very, very repetitive.

– Jumpy timelines that get very confusing. There are a lot of flashback stories intermixed in the main story as well all commentary and ramblings from the narrators.

– Creative ideas with weak connections and transitions (when there are connections at all), which make the story feel less creative and more like a bunch of random things thrown together haphazardly.

– Awkward language such as “hot blond cowboy girl”. It often feels like the author makes a mistake and instead of fixing the mistake, just incorporates it into the story, which is humorous sometimes (“Dark Lard”), but doesn’t really add to the story and just continues the rambling nature of the book.

– Missing words- this thing needs so much editing

So while there were many fascinating concepts (zombies, aliens, government conspiracies, time loops, talking dogs), there were few real connections or explanations regarding the topics, making the story feel random and lazy. Also, the book could really use some editing to minimize the rambling narrative, unnecessary commentary, missing words, and repetitiveness.

And don’t even get me started on the weird misogynistic elements of the book.

Like I said, not a good fit for me personally. I did not enjoy this book and considered abandoning it multiple times. But I don’t like rating/reviewing books unless I finish them, so there you go.